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    肮脏的乌托邦

    收到条不知名的祝福短信
    可能是哪个家伙发来开玩笑的
    也有可能是我太不应该而忘记的
     
    有时觉得自己记忆的确会有问题
    好多东西都已想不起来
    又或许是自己太不在乎
    早已将其抛至脑后
    心血来潮去翻看了很多以前他们的文章
    原来自己也曾被人如此在乎和惦记过
    对于习惯了被人无视的我
    现在看来又是那么的受宠若惊
    亦有觉着自己是如此的不配
    享受着优越感的同时却又早已判定拒绝任何的结果
    如此世俗与做作的乌托邦
    的确是该任其垮塌
    也算是种自作自受的报应和惩罚
     
    而我现在又是如此做作的希望你们能够过的开心幸福
    即便我早已忘记你们的名字甚至长相
    早已偏离你们当时眼中的我和所听所闻的一切
     
    感谢你们陪我走过的一切
    为我的无情和无礼而深深愧疚
    连我自己都为这样的虚伪而恶心
    空洞的乌托邦是没有任何价值的
    没有
    没有
    虽然我还是会继续这样苟且
    苟且着直至一切都老去
    老去
    我根本不用那么在乎
    一切都是按部就班的按着顺序进行
    一切都是必然又或是所驱动的偶然
    不是我所能控制或是我能控制的最大范围内
     
    最重要的还是
    能够幸福
    在乎我和我所在乎的
    好好
    活着
     

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